I was the middle child growing up and had a brother on either side of me. I had all male cousins and many times I found I was the only girl.
I became a tom boy. I started to feel awkward, different and misunderstood. Through my adolescence I didn't understand or relate to femininity. I had no clue.
It's taken me almost until now to embrace and love my feminine power. I grew into it. It’s a natural way of being for me, but because I didn’t have the resources, I didn’t know better.
Being a mother and seeing a reflection of myself in my girls, has helped me harness my intuition, love and feminine nature.
I couldn't imagine my life without my girls. There is something really magical for me about being a mom to only girls. There is so much love and compassion and understanding. I can truly relate to them. I know when they need a hug, I know when they need some space, I know when they need to chat or need a cuddle, or help with school work.
My girls are smart and intuitive. Having said that, they are pretty naive in lots of ways. Let's call it pure. I have managed to maintain a lot of the childhood innocence even though they have been through some major life changes and hard realities that only grown ups should have to deal with.
Not only did my eldest two daughters go through a divorce, they also welcomed another man, their step-dad, into their lives and then a new half baby sister.
The mom guilt can be huge. But I try to not let it consume me. I’m doing the best that I can and my girls know that.
My older girls (currently aged 8.5 and 10) still believe in Santa and the tooth-fairy and the switch witch and they believe almost anything I tell them.
They trust me. I am pretty open with them and I share my feelings, insights and experiences with them. I want them to know that their mom is human too. I want them to see me for more than just their mom, but a real everyday woman.
I tell them little white lies to maintain some childhood innocence and fun, but I’m pretty honest with them otherwise.
They see me cry. They see me happy. They see me struggle. They see me succeed. They see me unmotivated and they see me super ambitious.
They SEE me, and I SEE them.
This is where consciousness can really up your parenting game and your relationships with your children. It sure has for me.
I'm blessed with 3 darling daughters and I know this is a privilege. I know many struggle to have children, I did with my first daughter. I know many who have lost their babies or children. I know this is an absolute privilege. Raising humans is a gift.
I have unconditional love and so much abundance in my lives because of my daughters. Some days they drive me absolutely crazy, they drive each other crazy, it can be total madness.
They are soon to tower over me and go through all the hormonal changes of adolescence. I will be there. I will guide them. I will listen to them and I will support them.
I know the pain and suffering that can come with being an adolescent girl, especially one without a strong support centered on love.
All I can do is connect with them and keep lines of communication open. I don't need or want to be their best friend, but I want them to always feel safe to communicate and connect.
Being a mom is a tough gig, a mom to 3 girls is my toughest gig.
I am always on.
Even when I'm sort of off, my brain is in overload. Moms, you get this right?
As I expand my own consciousness and growth I can see triggers and emotional trauma. The awareness is leading me to be more focused on providing a nurturing and safe love for my girls.
But it also causes me to be hypersensitive and hard on myself because I am so aware.
I am using my consciousness to see my own issues and hopefully break down generational trauma.
I can see where my own issues block me from love. I able to love and serve them everyday, by doing so for myself. For being kind, for being loving and for being supportive.
I do everything in my power to give them the tools, support, knowledge and experiences to lift them up and to help them succeed in life, but I am not perfect by any means.
I know that my way of mom-life to them will likely screw them up or impact them on some large level.
Like how they usually don’t clean up after themselves.. I don’t really either. Or how they don’t go to many social events or have lots of friends… I don’t either.
I totally suck in the homework department. I have a ton of mom fails and know that I can lead by terrible example. Being a mom shines a bright light on all my weakness or short comings. It truly is the greatest form of self discovery and in most times the biggest reason for self improvement.
Life as an entrepreneur is not linear, much life motherhood. My kids have also gone through a separation and divorce. They have switched school and moved from their family home a few times over. They were thrown into a blended family with a step dad and step brother and welcomed their half baby sister.
And to be honest, I feel I've done a pretty damn good job momming over all these years, and I'm really proud of both myself and my girls. They amaze me everyday. Like truly, this isn't the mom bragging stuff. I've gone through so many changes while raising my girls and they’ve been so resilient and amazing. But, they’re still kids, still humans and we have the typical rushed mornings, yelling, blaming and craziness.
Mom life is everything to me. My girls come first, always have.
But that doesn't mean that I need to suffer or be compromised. It just means I need to be adaptable, present and aware. It's a tough gig. The toughest. Each day I am learning massive lessons about myself and my girls reflect everything back at me. I want to be the best person I can because of them, not for them.
Peaceful parenting is my goal but conscious parenting is my jam. It doesn’t mean that it’s always peaceful, it means I’m aware.
The Conscious Parent by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
The Awakened Family by Dr. Shafali Tsabary
Hi, I'm Jules; a multi-passion business woman, boss babe and entrepreneur; a mom to 3 girls, luxury travel and fitness lover, planner, organizer and lifestyle blogger. I live mid-town Toronto with my daughters. Any chance I can, I'm booking a vacation. I appreciate quality and love natural products!